photo courtesy of Truth Went Trendy
Ever done something that made you say "Oops"?
Lucky for me, although I have, this story isn't about me. I'm involved, but I didn't hit send too quick. I've been involved in negotiations for my buyer this week and today, I received an email from the listing agent about our last counter offer. It was yet another counter. Reading the email, I noticed it continued on past the agent's signature. What did I find? Communications between the sellers and their agent. Private, confidential conversations. I admit, not much was revealed that would be considered dangerous, but the fact is, the sellers' confidentiality was violated just enough to make me wonder - does the agent realize what they did? There is just enough in there for me to feel confident with our counter to their counter offer. The question is, did the agent reveal their hand?
In negotiating a contract, I have been told all sorts of things by agents. Little pieces that allowed me to take advantage of the situation and get my clients what they want and need. And it's not just email, I've been told things over the phone (some were monumental) that allowed me and my clients the same.
What do you reveal in negotiations?
Everyone thinks they're a master negotiator. Not many are. I do my best, but I know I have a lot to learn. What I don't do is reveal much about my clients. I've had people fish, I've had people ask, and I've had people drop hints. I keep my mouth shut whenever I can. I don't offer that which isn't asked for and once it's asked for, I make sure it falls within the realm of information that needs to be known. I most certainly don't reveal any information that is over-the-top confidential (although there are no rules about levels of confidentiality, I think we can all agree that there are levels of revealing information that could have different impacts on the situation - although they are all violations of our responsibilities to our clients, the consequences can make them much more worse).
I decided to drop the question on Twitter to see how some of my fellow real estate agents would respond to the hint of what I had just seen happen. My question? "RE agents: would you ever reply to an offering agent's email with a new counter and all of your conversation with your seller still intact including your advice "I think we should counter one more time"? (I know my answer, what's yours?)" In moments, I had some responses:
Next time you reply to a counter offer and you're sending email, stop and think!
In this case, nothing terrible was said, but enough was said in order to make me think a little harder about our counter offer. Don't be the agent who blows your clients' position in a negotiation. My first deal ever? I got a parcel of land for my buyer for half of what it was listed at. Why? The agent told me more information than I had asked for. I knew their client was looking to dump the property and didn't care much about what they got for it. Don't tell me what your client paid for the property, don't tell me how much money they have or need, don't tell me anything. Keep it between you and your client. If you tell me, I'm going to use it and my client will know everything you tell me. That's my responsibility to them. Remember, I owe you (as an agent) nothing other than an offer. I want us to be friends and happy together, but I will throw all of that away to get my client what they want and need. I'm not here to make friends with other agents (but I'm not about to be confrontational), I'm here to please my clients and continue a business relationship with them.
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Matt Stigliano, Realtor® | (210) 646-HOME | www.RErockstar.com
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Matt,
That's a pretty funny opening to this blog. Yes, I have and still do. I type too dang fast man!
LOL @ Greg. I always say I'm too fast for the keyboard! Anyway. I typically check and double check to make sure I have it the way I need to have it (e-mail that is). I have seen a few times a similar things and also an agent admitting they didn't know what they were doing as they really didn't sell any real estate but JUST had a license. Did I use that in our advantage - you BET! ~Rita
Sounds like an oops moment for the other agent -- always something to watch out for is what you are sending.
Hi Matt...So far I've not made that mistake. I'm very closed mouth about my clients' business. It is amazing how much some agents give away. It pays to listen closely and use everything you hear (or read) to your client's benefit. It is our fiduciary responsibility to get the best deal for them.
Kate
BIG OOOPS!
Another oops. . . . Where on this earth, especially in license law, does it say that agents can negotiate. Agents are the medium for negotiation between the parties.
Where is the buyer or seller in agents e-mail???
If I got an e-mail with what appeared to be an agent trying to negotiate a contract by e-mail, I'd simply respond with:
Kindly send any written counters signed by your buyer/seller client and I'll present it.
I wouldn't comment on the information within the e-mail, just keep it in my memory banks and print a copy for the file, mmmmmmmm.
Matt...
This applies to every email communication that is forwarded. In many cases, I want the recipient to see the entire thread, but you must double check before you hit send!
Matt, your post is a digital update on the old adage, "Silence is golden" - be careful you're not revealing too much.
Very interesting... I'm sure they regreat that little slip. Or at least hopefully they do. I always remove all former conversations unless I am sending a forward to someone that they need.
Matt:
Email is a blessing and a curse at the same time. One thing that could avoid the situation you talked about is to send a new email (I know that's a lot of work for some people) rather than just replying over and over. When you keep doing that, you can end up with such a long email that it's bound to have something in it that should have been kept confidential, particularly if you are cc 'ing others.
With regard to agents giving away information about their clients that they should not - that happens all the time. In fact, I am usually able to pry out information like that. It still amazes me the things that agents will reveal if you just ask them. So, if it's going to help my client to know, I ask away - and am usually answered.
Hi Matt:
I've never done that...
In fact, I'm very careful not to share even the e-mail addresses of clients or agents.
Rule of thumb, doing a copy/paste and NEVER hit forward!!!
I'm with Toula, I do the old copy and paste (if it's appropriate) and start a different email to the other agent.
Somethings should never been repeated!
Matt,
Hitting "Reply All" instead of just Reply is something else to watch. I've received some emails that revealed FAR too much this way!
Matt: Sounds like an honest mistake which unfortunately may have cost the client who will likely never know it happened. I agree with Lenn – unless it is a bank … put your offer and counter off in writing. I have told that to so many agents who called trying to pre-negotiate an offer. The agents hung up on me! Next!
Yikes! I do send offers and counter offers quite often via email (as an attachment, not just negotiating in the text of the email) but I always start a new email when I'm sending something to the other party.
I have caught myself chit chatting with another agent about my buyers before and suddenly, when I was about to say something, stopped and asked myself whether it could be used against them in negotiating (e.g. they are excited about how close this house is to the kids' school).
Just last night another agent said to me "Yeah, I told her to expect the counter offer to be full price, I don't think it will be an issue." Umm, did you just tell me that your client was expecting to pay full price?
Hi Matt... I have actually seen agents "stage" an e-mail thread that they intentionally forwarded to achieve a negotiaion goal. Don't be quick to believe that something was accidentally sent to you. On the other hand, there are agents who are simply in a big hurry and have an "Oops!" moment. We should definitely be paying attention to what we send in our e-mails, period.
I like your post. I was able to take advantage twice due to oops' by other agents. I find it incredibly helpful to be silent on the other end of the phone and to be holding a pencil while the agent is chatting about their client. Yes, Silence is Golden....
Hey, less is more! as they say and that goes for talking.
We all make mistakes, so I'm careful about what I'm saying, I don't want it to come back and kick me in the butt!!
Patricia AUlson/portsmouth nh homes
I have found lots revealed in the email "tails" behind the email meant to be sent. Including discussions between the agent and the lender about the buyer when they're Forwarding me something the lender sent them.
WATCH your tails!!! Literally in this case. Always compose a NEW message, never forward from what you've got. That's my motto. :)
Matt,
Good post. I've never had this happen in an email between agents but in a transaction I'm involved in, the seller's lawyer forwarded communications between him and his client and then the buyer's lawyer forwarded it to the buyer and myself...so much for attorney/client privilege. There was nothing life threatening in the email but still....don't hit send too quick or forward!
I just got a sloppy email from a listing agent the ohter day, except it was an email to his client about what he thought he should do in the negotiation but accidentally sent it to ME!
Matt, I like to do all my negotiations by phone. I can see where this would be so easy to happen.
When my son first joined the military I sent him an email discussing his finances (or lack of) and I inadvertently sent it to the entire prayer group that I had set up for his for his upcoming Iraq tour. Wow was that a lesson learned. In this case what 19 year old kid has money but it made me realize how easy it is to do something like this with email. After almost 5 years our son is now out of the military but this a lesson I will never forget.
Wow, hopefully the other agent understood what they were doing. If not, they are violating that client's trust and their duty to that client.
You always have to be careful...this is a great example of that.
Hey Matt.
I am dealing with a very similar issue right now. The buyer's agent sent me an email, with an email below from his cleint. The buyer's email said he removed all of his contingecies. My seller got a copy of that. In the end, the buyer did not remove the contingencies in writing, which the CAR contract calls for, but seller's attorney got a copy of that email, and you know where it goes from there.
Some agents just don't understand how email works. Emails are pretty much forever, be careful what you send.
Often a good idea to simply start a new email than send a chain of emails, unless they are very carefully scrutinized though I'm sure most have made boo boos at one time or another.
I don't know the specifics but it reminds me of the time many years ago when I was an insurance adjuster. I was negotiating a file with an attorney and he was persistent for more money (and I did have a little more), but I told him I need to check with a supervisor and asked him to hold. I put down the phone but did not put it on hold (on purpose).
I turned to a go worker, not my supervisor who was with me and explained the situation to him.
The co-worker gave me a "lecture" about over paying and told me that if it did not settle to transfer it to legal.
I got back on the phone and told them I could not get anymore money. They took my offer.
A newspaper editor I know always said to 'defer' sending (editing work, writing, mail, email, etc) if possible--or at least go back and re-read 2x before sending, for that very reason.
(He liked to write late at night, 'sleep on it' and then go back and edit in the morning -- BEFORE sending to his copy editors.)
Things look quite different once distanced from--and via different eyes.
But that kind of time is not a luxury we can afford too often in our business.
I do get up, take a break and then go back and re-read when it's something as critical as negotiations. Also, I read OUT LOUD. Then I know if it will really make sense.
And absolutely start a new note rather than take any chance of the wrong eyes seeing the original correspondence.
I really always try to go back and read through the emails, but have been guilty of sending one that I wished I could grab out of cyberspace!! Ouch!! Now I just really try to be careful to not say anything in writing that I wouldn't want all parties to know...it's just easier that way. If I have something tacky to say - I'd rather do it on the phone! :-)
Sounds like that agent should learn how to email. BIG no-no on behalf of her clients!
Tina in Virginia
Matt - you've raised such an important issue here. Email can save all kinds of time and provide a great record, but boy you can really get yourself of a client in trouble. Too many folks are a bit careless with their email communications...same true in voice mail. I know I have left a message or two, or sent an email in the past that I regretted. It's better to send unique emails rather than hitting reply - you still can keep a full record of all that has been said - and especially NOT reply ALL.
Jeff
Matt I had an agent send me an email that had all sorts of emails attached. It not give us any info regarding the home purchase but it did offer some insight as to how pissed off they were with him!
YIKES!! This shows the importance of writing a NEW email when sending sensitive information. One of my agents did this a few eeks ago. She wrote me a long email complaining about how difficult her buyer was. The only problem was she sent it to the buyer by mistake!!! Not a good thing. It took me a while to smooth it over and get the buyer back on track.
Great post. I always check before I send to clients especially the "thread" of an email to see who are all the parties involved. The reason I have done this because, I have seen where people send emails and, later other people are laughing at them behind their backs. It can be embarrassing so from that experience I don't mind taking the extra time to make sure the t's are crossed.
I also keep my mouth shut, especially about PERSONAL details. I am involved in one transaction where the buyer keeps asking very detailed personal questions about the seller, and even if I know, I cannot tell! This buyer is very frustrated I am not answering the questions but they are not material to the HOUSE.
Never forward...I have learned way too much at times in the negotiating process because of the other agent forwarding emails, slipping up on the phone and one time faxing me information that was never intended to be sent to me. You are right, care should be exercised at all times!
Matt,
Excellent points. I agree, just about everyone I come across in the business would describe themselves as master negotiators. And, in fact, few are.
Never send out anything that came from your own client. Even the e-mail address reveals too much information.
Brian
It's easy to make mistakes when we're moving to fast or multi-tasking. I know of a co-worker who sent an email meant for me about her clients, to her clients. YIKES!
Wow, great blog! I always try to copy and paste. I have not hit the send button, too quickly, yet. Hope I never do.. thanks for sharing!
Amazing to see how apparently common this is. I didn't expect to hear so many "This one time..." comments. The part that shocks me is that the agent had to forward the message to me and then write in her reply (even though the seller's comments (and counter offer) were right there in the email). If anything, I would have opened the seller's email and started a new one...to see them side by side so I could re-write what the seller was telling me to do.
I remember once sending a very angry note about our band to my wife. Except somehow I spelled her name the same as our lead singer's name when typing. I was venting mostly about him, so I guess I had him in my mind as I typed. He sent it back with a simple "I think you meant to send this to your wife!" He thought it was funny as we were all known for occassional rants about each other. Put five guys together for too long and they'll start getting frustrated with each other eventually.
In the words of Hall & Oates; "some things are better left unsaid".
But printing a copy of the email for the file...well that's something else.
Wow,
I'm not alone on this one, I've seen it over and over.....more so from the Transactions Coordinators..
Great insight!
I ASK those questions... and it is amazing how many times they are answered. Of course, I get asked those questions occasionally...
It's amazing what I've gotten in emails frrom other agents. Why they don't think to delete all of the past communications is beyond me. Just recently I found out what the next highest off was, and about a problem with the property that neither the seller nor their agent had disclosed to me or my clients!
Matt. This is usually the case of another agent needing a deal to close. Broke agents make poor decisions. While the rest of us enjoy the benefits.
My reaction to that agent's lack of email oversight? If I had done that, I'd be throwing up in the bushes. Nothing so important that we can't take a moment to re-read (and aloud if possible) to be certain we're not giving away the store. Great post, great comments.
Matt
I prefer not to reply but to start a new email with the phrase " received your email and will reply after I speak with my client."
I print the other agent's email and place it in my client's folder. Would you send back a letter from someone you are negotiating with your comments on the letter? I think not. It's to easy to just hit that reply button. Act as if you are writing to each other the old fashioned way. It still works.
In Oklahoma like in other states anything that is said or communicated to us has to be told to a seller. If a realtor writes a contract and tells me tha their buyers will go higher then I am obligated to tell my seller. Another thought, be careful about replies in Outlook. If there are multiple addresses you have the option of sending to the originator or to all. I had someone who hit the to all button on a reply and made a lot of people angry.
I worked for a larger commercial/residential lender when I was cc'ed on an email regarding financing of a medical office complex. I read the previous emails and realized that there was a lot of private information regarding one of the doctors. (We were also working on a couple of commercial investment loans for the doctor separately).
The email was sent to everyone involved in the process, lawyers, real estate agents, our team, and the developer. My employer had a lot of explaining to do and I think it completely changed the way he used email. He began to use the phone a lot more...
You played nice in the sandbox and didn't reveal your hand. Seems like sloppy emailing and someone was in a hurry to answer you. You're right that whatever they tell you does go right to the client, sometimes that could be a strategy too.
Sounds like a little bit of sloppy emailing to me. A good reminder though.