photo courtesy of eflon
You'll need to do some homework.
In order for this post to make much sense, you'll need to read up first. Please read Larry and Sheila Agranoff's post "Should We Even Respond To This One?" (a featured post from 12/21/09) - if you're not a member of ActiveRain, the post will not come up for you as it is marked "Members Only." Be sure to read through the comments as this is what my post is based on.
So what would you do?
I hope you left a comment while you over there, but let me ask you this: did any of the comments you read through rub you the wrong way? Do you think the commentors made excellent points or not? Would you respond? If so, how?
As I read the comments last night (I just re-read them this morning), I actually felt a little disheartened. A few notes... First, I'm not here to tell anyone how to run their business or act like I know it all. Second, I don't know the prospective client and any of the details of any other contact with them, I also don't know the Agranoffs, so I'm not sure what they're all about either. Third, many of you have years more experience than me and I recognize I can sometimes be a bit idealistic. Fourth, I am in no way implying that any particular comment is the problem or that Larry and Sheila shouldn't have posted this, in fact I'm thrilled that they posted it. And lastly, I know there are times when it's best to walk away (I just had to do it recently). Okay, now my disclosures are out of the way, let's get into it, shall we?
As you can see from my comment on the post, I don't think the answer is to cut off communication or end any dealings with the prospective client. I'd even add a bit to my comment in terms that, I would probably see if they'd like to sit down and discuss real estate and their experiences (perhaps over a cup of coffee in a location other than an office). I love to hear the consumers point of view and at one point in my life as I have pointed out many times on this blog, I disliked all Realtors®. It only took one bad experience. It also only took one good experience and a memory of a prior good experience to bring me back and wind up becoming one myself.
Realtors® (and non-Realtor® agents as well) and the industry have a bad rap with some segments of the population. We know this as fact. The National Association of Realtors® pours a lot of money into trying to change that perception. We fight it everyday in our business. We talk about it here and on blogs all across the internet. We'd be foolish to deny that a rift sometimes exists and sometimes that rift seems a bit more like the Grand Canyon.
So (based on the post alone and no other knowledge of what has transpired between the two parties), we have a case of a prospective client who most likely has had some bad experiences with agents in the past and thinks we're all the same. Are we all the same? Do you run your business like I do? Do you think and say the same things Larry and Sheila do? The answer is probably yes and no. We might agree on this or that, but have a complete opposite approach to something else. As long as we're within the letter of the law, we can do our business how we please (and how it pleases our clients).
What disheartened me the most I think is the willingness of many of the commentors to make a judgment to get out rather than discuss anything with the home buyer. I'm not dumb enough to think that every consumer will be won over by your explanations of why you're different from the other agents they have had experiences with, but I'm also passionate enough to give a damn about what they think. I think we could all benefit from seeing this as opportunity, and not just for our own pockets, but for the overall standing of our industry with the public. Sure, the efforts may crash and burn, but they also might just work.
The part that I disagree with most is the "answer with silence" style answers. As if the public don't already think we're impossible to get a hold of and never return our calls. This is a huge issue with consumers and I know we all miss a call here or there or perhaps even don't answer an email, but the more we do it, the more this perception will stick with us and tarnish our profession. The consumer of today wants it now and it doesn't always happen that way, so I predict this will continue to be an issue no matter what we do to adapt our habits and make ourselves available or educate the consumer about how we operate (how do you tell a consumer how the industry operates, when we are all so different?).
We preach every day about educating our clients, yet in these comments, very few spoke of educating. (By the way, we talk about educating clients so much at times, that I wonder if the consumer thinks we think they're all completely in the dark when it comes to real estate. Not true, but based on some of the things I read about client education, I might get that idea. I guess that's another post for another day.) The prospective client in question (again, based only on the knowledge I garnered from the post) seems to definitely have had some problems with agents in the past. So what's our answer to that? Don't respond? I say, speak to them, show them, help them understand the differences between the apparently incompetent agents they've dealt with in the past and you. Treat them well. Perhaps it will still not be enough and it will turn into a nightmare - if that's the case, then you may need to reconsider continuing down the client-agent relationship path, but to throw in the towel before it has even started? I just don't see it as sensible or helpful to you or the industry as a whole.
I'd love to see Larry and Sheila post this again quietly in six month or a year from now. No fanfare, no mention of it being a repost, just throw it up on their blog as if they wrote it in 2010. But I'd like to see one difference. I'd like to see them make it a public post. I'd be willing to bet that some of the comments might not be the same. Even though we all know it's not hard for a consumer to sign up as a member on ActiveRain so that they can read everything, I often wonder if some members forget that fact, as it seems "Members Only" posts tend to take on a different tone at times.
All content ©2008-2010 by Matt Stigliano unless otherwise noted.
Matt Stigliano, Realtor® Becker Properties | (210) 646-HOME | www.RErockstar.com
"Your all access pass to San Antonio real estate."
Wow... That was a very interesting trip to take... Sometimes I think we forget to really listen when people are tying to tell us something. Overcoming objections and perceptions always start at understanding what the issue really is rather than our projecting what we think it is. Very well said, Matt. :-)
Matt,
I've found that we attract clients with whom we should work ... maybe that client just wasn't right for Larry and Shiela. I don't think we need to try to educate every buyer with whom we make contact.
Sue
Matt - Very well said. We need to be better than the rest. The better agent would take the time to reach out to this person to see if they can help. Why give up after only 1 email ? I would definitely respond with kindness and invite the person to meet in person to discuss their goals or at least to have a phone discussion. "Kill em with kindness" goes a long way. At the end of the day, someone is going to be working with this person. We have worked with many a client who was disgruntled from a prior experience. It is because of that that we do more business ! ~ Chris
Hi Matt, I think there are multiple perspectives, Yours is certainly valid, but I also tend to believe that not every prospect is a good match for every REALTOR®, and no REALTOR® should be required to accept abuse. It would be nice to simply tell the prospective buyer that you do not feel that you would be a good fit for their needs, but if someone I had never even met sent me an e-mail accusing me of being dishonest, I do not believe that simply walking away and not responding would be out of line.
C Tann-Starr - Understanding the whole picture is the key to any puzzle. I think we all have moments where we think "this is not going to be worth the effort," but I just felt that everyone was a little too quick on the trigger with their responses.
Sue - I couldn't agree with you more. I tell buyers and sellers that. Not everyone is going to get along with me or I with them. Not everyone clicks instantly and forms a great bond. But the interesting part of your comment is "...maybe that client just wasn't right for Larry and Shiela." Perhaps they weren't, but Larry and Sheila would be the people who would make that determination, right? To add more interest to the equation, we don't see Larry and Sheila's emails, just the woman's. They are also bolded and underlined (by the editor I believe) at key points to stress the point. I can go back through her first email and stress important key things that I think would make her a wonderful client. It's all about perception in this case. Most of the comments seemed to perceive it as being a waste of time to respond. I didn't.
Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying Larry and Sheila did anything improperly, in fact, I like that they reached out to the community for their thoughts and opinions.
Chris - Like I said, I hated all of you at one point in my life. I thought agents were complete lowlifes. I thought you were all about cash cash cash. One Realtor® turned me around, made me remember a former Realtor® of mine who I thought was amazing (both of them I still speak to - as peers in the same profession now), and got my interest in real estate back. I even despised RE/MAX for what happened. Since you know where I work, you can see that has changed. People can change opinions, they can been calmed down, they can see things from a different perspective. It won't always work and if the client was beligerent, hostile, and drove me nuts - I'd have no problem backing away. But to back away after one email, that just doesn't seem to be a solid idea to me.
Steve - I do agree about the matching and not accepting abuse. I will turn client's down (even when I am hungry for clients) - I'm not going to do this business in a way that drives me away from it eventually. I want to remain passionate and happy with my chosen career. If I give that up, I might as well flip burgers. I feel like a lot of consumers feel that way about "dishonesty" - they don't all share it publicly. We all know that the Realtor® name is sometimes a curse because of the way people view real estate and the people who work in it. Those are the people that need to find an agent like you. A guy who will show them that they can be well taken care, get what they want, and wind up finding a great guy that they share some connections with. They might be the worst clients ever, they might be the best - one email is not going to determine that.
Matt,
I think that Larry and Sheila DID make that determination (choosing not to work with that potential buyer) ...?
Sue
Matt-I so agree with you- I treat people the way I want to be treated. Perhaps down the road you see that you may not be able to work with someone, but you never know until you gave it your best shot!
Nice post Matt,
I happen to have a few past clients (I call them that because I keep in touch with them, but a different agent actually helped them), in some cases, that help was non-existent and some of these folks ended up calling me on the listing side, to get answers etc, and some of them, realized that not only did I answer my phone, I called them back, I gave them the info I told them I was going to give them.
I think of it this way - My database of clients who like me is growing, where someone else's is shrinking, too bad for them.
Matt, I agree with Chris's statement in principle. On paper it sounds good and the right thing to say. But I'd like to speak for myself on your comments and that article and the angry client.
I would choose silence based on what I read. I would choose to separate myself from that display of negativity because the underlying issue is a psychosis and not induced by a Realtor or any other industry. Face it. We are human. Some clients have so many issues and have so much hostility within and their bite will be felt by whoever they are dealing with at the time. It is a shame but guess what? It has nothing to do with their past problems with bad Realtors. Typically it is a systemic psychological issue with control. We all have it to certain degrees. To take it personally in my opinion is an unwise choice.
So, I do not feel or think I am obligated to prove myself or redeem the industry for that type of person. Chris on the other hand would dive right in !
Stephanie Somers
Sue - I didn't catch that anywhere. Just an open ended question at the end of the post asking what we thought. I was hoping they would reply in the comments about their thoughts a little more in depth, but so far I haven't seen it.
Kimberly - What I've been thinking about is the fact that if you read the first email, I think you might find all the answers to what's going on. Removing Larry and Sheila's stress of the word "apparently" (I commented on my feelings about that already), I see an email of very helpful information from a buyer (sometimes buyers are hard to peg as far as what they're looking for, but this buyer lays it out very well in my opinion). Here's what I think the consumer's second email is all about. I think she's a buyer with very particular needs and wants (she spells them out clearly in her first email - including parts of town she doesn't want). My own experience suggests that she's probably worked with a few agents who never listened to her needs and wants. We all know it happens. Someone says I want to live on the West side of town in XYZ Community and some agent drags them to the East side to look at ABC Community instead.
I didn't comment on their post because the viewpoints all seem to have been said, but it seems to me when someone sends a long, detailed email one thing they're telling us is, "I like to communicate by email." I know long detail-filled email responses can be time-consuming, but sometimes that's what people really want, and getting, "Give us your phone number" makes them feel they're being pushed into a corner. Then again, mean people suck.
Matt - I commented on their post, and I will throw this thought out there. As professionals, I feel it is our duty to support our industry and try to educate people on what is really going on. Anyone with access to the media can be inundated with all sorts of misinformation. And just about everyone has heard their share of RE horror stories where it was all the Realtors fault. If as a Realtor (or an agent), we do not feel compelled to defend our industry, the end of the year is near, hang it up.
Matt - although I would have responded nicely to her, a red flag would have gone up for me. I would have tried to explain the fact that there were currently no foreclosures available in those communities but I would create a search to alert her if one does come up. I would follow the e-mail explanation up with an MLS search sent to her (showing her all available properties in the area she inquired about and proving that there weren't any foreclosures).
It would depend on her reaction to my help on whether I would want to continue to work with her. Some buyers are just not realistic with their expectations. Those kinds of buyers can drain you. In this case, however, if she just wants a foreclosure and there aren't any, there's not much else you can do except to see if she will finally "get it" and change her search parameters. Or maybe she'll be patient enough to wait for a short sale or foreclosure to come up (the wait might make her realize that she's asking for something that just isn't there).
And like Joetta mentioned (#11), I would offer my explanation via e-mail (I type very fast and enjoy communicating via e-mail).
Hi Matt, Thanks for taking the time to try to establish a positive relationship with this customer. Ypur post says a lot about you and your contribution to our business ! Hope your Holiday Season is the best ever !
Matt, it's all a matter of time -- if you have the time available to overcome the prospect's angst, then do it. If not, then be polite, pray, and press on.
Hi Matt,
I completely understand and agree with your point, and I believe most of us here feel the same way. However, in life there are just certain people that you can not please not matter what. Larry & Sheila are professional, ethical people who treat their clients with respectand deserve the same. Being a customer never gives you the right to be rude and treat people bad. Jesus's words of "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" are universal. Until this potential client understands this, she is going to have a very hard time in every area of her life.
I think keeping lines of communication open are important. However, there are certain people I put requirements on before I will help them too much as I see them as not loyal and hard to work with.
I agree with you Matt, and I left a comment on their post to that affect. I think they have a great opportunity to change this person's negative perception of the industry. I feel that silence would only serve to confirm the person's feelings that all Realtors® are not to be trusted, and I recommended a face-to-face meeting to discuss the issue with her. At least by opening a dialog with her there is the chance of changing her mind; with silence, there is none. They have nothing to lose by trying, and a lot to gain. Just my humble opinion...
Matt, absolutely, I wouldn't want to be judgemental either but the wrong thing to do is ignore that consumer. I agree with you in that most chips on people shoulders come from bad experiences. Anytime we encounter an upset consumer it presents a perfect opportunity to change that persons view of our entire industry AND gain another valuable customer. We are in a service business and we can't just be in a service business when people are happy.
Matt - I hadn't even read through your entire blog post (it is very long!), but am happy that my comment on the other post was right in line with your thinking! I always try to correct any misunderstandings. If I screw up then you have a right to be mad at me. But if you are mad at me because you misunderstood something, then it is my nature (Taurus) to try to correct the situation.
Matt,
I think that working with this Buyer would be a no-win situation! If the Buyer had ALREADY seen all those other properties, who had she seen them with? Where is that/those agent(s)? Had THEY decided not to work with her? Too much negative energy here!
Hi Matt: Wow, who knew what we started. First, we appreciate you taking the time to reference our post and write about it. We received so many comments at once, that we have not had the time to respond and keep the conversation going. Just want to reference that we never said we were not going to try to work with this potential buyer, and Matt where the words are bold and underlined was not editied by us, but is how we received the email from her. We had no idea this would set off so much dialog. Will try to respond to all asap. Happy Holidays!
Larry & Sheila
Matt, good thought-provoking post...especially the part about how members post in a different tone based if it was public or not and the whole "educating consumers" thing.
This one has so many different facets. If it was just based on the emails i read in the different post I would reach out one more time and try, but I'm not sure how much further I would go afterwards. We all want the perfect client and the perfect deal, but we succeed when we can work through the complicated ones, too.
I think you are making a big deal out of nothing. You are personally sensitive to some of those issues raised as you have said yourself. I too looked for a house from an 'agent bungler' and decided that I could do the job better than he could. So here I am 25 years later & I tell you, that lady was plain old disrespectful in that email! She wonders why people don't want to deal with her? She has issues of trust I believe & why should YOU, as a realtor, be her shrink?
My answer was to just politely say, good luck with your future home purchase. That way at least she knows you received her nasty gram. I think the whole issue really started over constantly trying to get her phone number.
"but to throw in the towel before it has even started?"
Based on my interpretation of the two posts, I think there are several ways to look at this. I personally focus my marketing to weed out this type of person before they ever make contact with me. But in the event that I do receive a lead of this sort, I would complete a full sales qualification of the lead, gather as much information as possible, and continue on as appropriate. If someone makes the immediate decision that this is not an appropriate client for their business, I think a courtesy final email is appropriate just to maintain your reputation.
Your comment that I quoted above got to me though. Even on good leads, this seems to be an underlying issue for the poor performance of most agents..Hence the whole 80/20 thing.
I think the lack of motivation to fully qualify the lead without a thorough investigation of the person and their situation is a habit and not a single act, which ultimately will prevent a successful career.
I would definitely respond the the buyer. She sounds like she knows exactly what she wants and simply had a negative experience. Showing her that you are NOT the same as "those other agents" would e good for both you and the buyer. The ones I reject are thoe with this sort of attitude PLUS and unrealistic ideal of market pricing. I give it my best to educate but there are times when it simply makes sense to cut your losses and move on. Sometimes you really Can't teach an old dog new tricks.
my comments on Larry/Sheila is below,,,but to add here I would take that deal and laugh all the way to the bank
kill her with kindness, the nicer you are the pissier she gets
oh ..I am drawing an image in my mind of Meryl Streep in the movie "The Devil wears Parada"
Terkel - Never thought about it as while one agent's client database grows another one's may shrink. Interesting way to frame it.
Stephanie - I'm glad you commented here as you know I was curious which of you had which opinion. Although you and I disagree on this one, I find it great to see you and Chris both be so passionate about the same issue for different reasons. I liked you two already, but to watch that difference made me smile. You two must be a great couple (so many would let those sorts of differences stand between them). I like you both more now than I did before because of it. Agree or disagree, I love to see passion and conviction. The only time I don't like to see those is when someone is blatantly out of their minds and not even close to being right in any sense of the word. In your case, I see your point...we just differ.
Joetta - You make an excellent point. Best thing I ever learned was that all the gizmos and gadgets (and I love technology) mean nothing if your clients like to speak on the phone or in person. We need to always communicate with clients the way they want to be communicated with and I can see how the "call me" might scare some one off.
Darlene - I'm with you on the defense, education, and change of our industry. I will not defend it blindly, but I will defend it. I will educate myself about it and educate my clients and the general public as well. Where I see need for change, I will push and do what I can to make that happen.
Judy - I don't think there's anything wrong with a "red flag" going up as long as that doesn't lead to writing someone off immediately. I've seen red flags with clients before...some of them turned into amazing clients. It's a dance of getting to know each other, to trust each other, and to communicate effectively with each other. No two clients are alike and no two should be handled the same.
Bill - I did have a great holiday - thank you!
Greg - There is the issue of time, but I definitely wouldn't end it with silence. A quick email saying so would suffice if that was the route one wanted to take.
Tammy - Out of curiosity what do you think of the age-old saying "the customer is always right?"
Gene - Would you tell a client that you feel they are not "loyal" or "hard to work with"? How would you phrase those conditions to the prospective client?
Pat & Wayne - I definitely think the silent route could do more damage than a confrontational one.
Jason - I think your comment sums it up nicely. I see the need to at least try and speak to this person. Perhaps they will never change their minds or perception of us, but to not try and give it my best...well, I just feel that's not a good reflection on me (the way I perceive myself - not the way others do).
Weichert Synergy - Yeah, I do have a tendency to write long posts. It's in my nature.
Kathy - Asking the prospective client could help clear up a lot of those doubts. Perhaps those agents were terrible. Perhaps they didn't fit well together. Perhaps the agent and the prospective client didn't sign a buyer's rep agreement? Who knows what the conditions were.
Larry & Sheila - I didn't think you said you wouldn't speak to them...I think I mentioned that in my comment, but perhaps I forgot to. I liked the way you dealt with it...open ended question to see what developed as a conversation. I did assume you marked the words with the bold and underlines, that was my incorrect assumption. I probably still wouldn't change my personal stance, but it is interesting to know that they chose to do it that way. I got caught off guard the same way you did, I didn't expect this post to generate as much as it did. Thanks for the post and when I have a second, I'll hop back over there to see what you've replied.
Bev and Bob - I am always curious as to which would garner which responses - public or members only. I have read some comments on ActiveRain that would make me livid as a consumer and I've read some that would make me pick up the phone immediately and say "I'd like to work with you." It's a double edged sword I guess.
Lyn - I don't think this is "nothing." I take public perception as a very serious issue in our industry. Yes, I had experiences that gave me some negative thoughts about the industry and they do affect me to this day, but I also see and here it in the public now. It's not a secret that we face a problem with our relationship with the consumer (not all of them). NAR spends a lot of money trying to reverse it all the time.
Eric - I see your point about it being a habit rather than a single act, but I don't think that every agent that was willing to walk away from this prospective client could be said to have this habit.
Jenny - That's what fascinated me about the original contact from this person. They certainly seemed to have done their homework (although I don't know if what they wanted was realistic for the area as I don't work there). I love clients who know what they want.
Dana - I just try to treat people as just that. I've had some buyers who snapped on me before and got downright rude. We dealt with it together. The reason they were like that? They were stressed over a situation in the transaction and took it out on me for a few moments. It sucked and I wanted to scream and yell and throw it all right back at them, but I kept my head and worked through it one step at a time. They're happy clients and will continue to remain wonderful people. Once incident didn't define the whole experience.
Matt, like you I don't cut off communication until it's apparent that Iam unable to establish "rational" communication with a reasonably well informed client! I have more than once managed to hold my tongue and develop a good relationship with folks who were rather brusque in the beginning. Often they had been the recipiant of bad behavior from previous agents and were operating from a position of fear. Nice job (as always) best to you in the New Year!
Your post reminded me of 2 clients that I didn't treat nicely. I dont think I should have acted that way but sometimes I type faster than I think.
In Larry and Sheila's case, I normally don't not respond. But I may not address it either. I would just say, my research finds a little different result and if she could find another realtor, sincerely wish her well.
Sometimes in emails, you can never tell what the other person is really saying. I wouldnt take offense.
In 43 years of business in over a dozen industries, I have only walked away from two Clients, one in telecommunications when I was a consultant and one as a home inspector. I like working with people, even the so-called bad ones because by working with them, I can learn how to work with the next bad one who comes along. As long as they pay me in gold bullion or United States dollars, they are a good prospect in my book.
However, that doesn't mean that I don't try to do something about the bad Clients. For example, back when California was voting on Proposition 8 to take away my right to marry, I did a home inspection for a family of five. All five of them, down to the three-year old daughter, were wearing "Yes on 8" t-shirts. Since I thought their money would spend well, I did the home inspection, deposited their $499 check, and wrote a check to the "No on 8" campaign for $998.
Matt - The discussion here is really fantastic in terms of the views and opinions. You really know how to get a great conversation going. Very insightful. It is great too that Stephanie and I can both be passionate but not agree from time to time. I love your comment in regards to our difference of opinion : ) ~ Chris