San Antonio's Rockstar Turned Realtor®: "Built to Cod" - And Other Listing Remarks That Stink

"Built to Cod" - And Other Listing Remarks That Stink


I'm famous in Los Angeles.

Despite my former career in the rock and roll industry, I was never very famous in Los Angeles.  I was able to sit in a bar and have no one notice me.  Same bar in Germany and I would have been signing autographs instead of drinking Pils.

Thanks to Gwen Banta, a Hollywood Hills real estate impresario, my name floats through the Los Angeles scene, even if it's in reference to real estate and not rock and roll.

I've reblogged many of Gwen's sharp-witted posts in the past and this one is a classic (as they all are).  If you've never stopped by her ActiveRain or AgentGenius blogs, now is the time - she will keep you going through the year with a smile, a laugh, and your finger on the spell check button.

PS If you've never googled Gwen, you might want to, she has a very cool "secret" past.


Woman Holding Nose

What a week - the fun never stops when it comes to MLS bloopers! Thanks to the always funny Matt Stigliano  of Texas and Philadelphia's Fred Glick for their contributions. And thanks also to Anna Altic  for the strange real estate ad she spotted in Nashville. (I'm still trying to translate that one.) Check out these gaffs if you want to begin your New Year with a chuckle:

Not Even If You Ask Politely

"Please leave business car on counter" (I will if you leave your hot brother in my driveway.)

"Doors stuck, kept slut" ( Seen on Eliot Spitzer's  T-shirt.)

"You better hairy" (Said Robin Williams mother when she saw his back...)

"Entertainment room w/ large wet bra" (I'm not even going to ask...)

"Just what yo buyer long fo" (Thank you, Snoop Dogg.")

"New construction Won't last" (Finally - Truth in Advertising!)

Not Even If You Beg

"Drawing at Open for Burka Bag" (Honey, a burka is a bag - a body bag...and that's as attractive as a turd hat!)

"Large floral dining for family needs" (Don't the leaves get stuck in your teeth?)

"Be sure to chick locks" (How 'bout if I wrap ‘em in pink angora?)

"Vivid pant colors" (Hello, Jack Nicklaus, your trousers have been located.)

"Con Perms provided" (I bet the inmates at San Quentin just love Curly Hair Day.)

You Can't Even Give It Away!

"Priced to cell" (Apparently this is a mobile phone service for hookers.)

"No permits, but built to cod" (What is this - a house for Nemo?)

"Please remove shoes, wear boobies." (The West Hollywood  nancy boys are gonna  love this!)

"Big shet out back" (He hit a detour on his way to Washington.)

Bonus Round:

And here's another head-scratcher from Matt Stigliano:

"Dest Deal of the Year!!!...Beautiful Home with great curve appeal, large kitchen...walk-in paintry. Mesterbedroom downstairs...East commute" (I think they had Matt at "curve appeal.")

Thanks to Anna Altic for the ad she spotted:  "Open House" ...on vacant land...on Christmas Eve...two years from now. (Some people really had way too much fun in the sixties.)


visit Gwen at

Comment balloon 1 commentMatt Stigliano • January 18 2011 09:14AM



Posted by Matt Stigliano (Kimberly Howell Properties (210) 646-HOME) about 9 years ago